Simpsorama/Quotes
:Skinner: Students, each one of you has been assigned the mandatory honor of contributing to the Springfield time capsule, where your Archana will lie dormant until the 31st century. :Chalmers: By the time you've finished talking, we're gunna be opening this damn capsule. ---- :Skinner: Uh, how 'bout you, Bart. Let me guess. You forgot to bring something. :Bart: I'm offended you think I forgot. ---- :blows his nose into his sandwich :to Marge at home, sensing that her sandwich is being disgraced :Marge: gasp My sandwich! ---- :Mayor Quimby: Even God hates jazz. ---- :Kent Brockman: A mysterious electrical storm is currently wreaking havoc with our studio, but I'm not one of those brainless dopes, who mindlessly reads a teleprompter-er-er-error 401 backslash backslash colon reset C-drive, shutting down. ---- :falls out of the sky :Homer: What the hell was that? :Lisa: Probably just another piece of America's space junk falling out of orbit. :Bart: Remember when this country didn't suck? Cuz I don't. ---- :Marge: Homer! I think there's someone downstairs! :Homer: Relax, Marge. It's probably just Homer, coming home late from Moe's. ---- :Homer: We'll have to set a trap Bait, I mean Bart. ---- :Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass! :Homer: A robot with a catchphrase! ---- :Bender: My name is Bender and I come from the future. :Homer: Prove it. What happens to Homer Simpson in the future? :Bender: I don't know. You die? :Homer: Oh ... my ... God. ---- :Moe: Hey, hibachi head. How you gunna pay for that? :Bender: Uh, let me just transfer some uh, electronic hyper credits into your register here. :sticks his finger into Moe's cash register and pretends to give him money :Bender: Ding a ding ding ding ding ding ding. ---- :Homer: Listen I-I know you're a robot and incapable of emotion. :Bender: cries It's true. I'm empty inside! cries ---- :Homer: What's the robot version of bromance? :Bender: Romance. ---- :Lisa: This is the robot who claims to be from the future. :Bender: Can your present day robots do this? his tongue out and makes random noises :Professor Fink: Uh, no. No they can not. Not sure why they'd want to. ---- :can't bring himself to kill Homer :Bender: Aw, I can't do it. :Lisa: What stopped you, Bender? Asimov's three laws of robotics? :Bender: You think robots care what some hack science fiction writer thinks? I killed Isaac Asimov on the way over here. Well, Isaac somebody. ---- :message from the future comes out of Bender's shiny metal ass, projecting Leela :Leela: Bender, we just regained contact. Have you killed Homer Simpson? :Bender: Uh, yep. Killed him good. :Leela: If Homer's dead, why are the creatures he begat still here and multiplying out of control? :shows a plague of mutant rabbits attacking New New York :Homer: What the!? :Leela: You lied to me, Bender. Homer Simpson's still alive! :shows up on screen :Fry: Come on, Bender. Stabbity stabbity. :Lisa: Wait, stop! Why must you kill my dad? Especially, when cheeseburgers are doing the work for you? :Farnsworth shows up on screen :Farnsworth: Homer Simpson must be eliminated immediately! The creatures destroying New New York have his DNA! :shows up on screen :Hermes: The monsters are stealing our office supplies! :Bender: That's inexcusable! :office supplies fall out of his belly :Bender: Uh. :shows up on screen :Zoidberg: Hello, robot. Looks like everyone gets a turn to say something ... This concludes my time. ---- :Farnsworth: Leela, can you handle it? :Leela: In a New New York minute minute. ---- :Homer: Marge, I'd like you to meet Leela and Fry. :Marge: her head Don't mention her eye. Don't mention her eye. :Leela: her head Don't mention her hair. Don't mention her hair. :Marge: Eye, am so pleased to meet you. :Leela: Nice to be hair. :nervously chuckle :Leela: Oh lord. ---- :Lisa: Professor Farnsworth, I'm dying to know how you got here. Was it a time machine? :Farnsworth: Little girl, time machines are physical impossibilities! We teleported through a singularity that I quantum entangled to Bender, under the guise of fixing his collar. :Professor Fink: Yes, but how did Bender get here? :Farnsworth: With a time machine. :Lisa: But you just said that- :Farnsworth: Sample's ready! ---- :Professor Fink: Good news, everyone! :Fry: That means it's bad. ---- :Bart: Wow! I'm doing the same jokes a thousand years later! Ay caramba! ---- :Lisa: All we have to do is dig up the time capsule! :Leela: And bury Bart in the hole! :Marge: I thought people in the future would be more full of peace and love. Like in Epcot Center. :Leela: In our time, Epcot Center is a work farm for the weak. :Farnsworth: Oh, but it's not as crowded as the slave labour camps at Universal Studios. ---- :ass projects a message from the future, showing Amy :Amy: Mayday! Mayday! gasp They got Scruffy! :shows up on screen :Scruffy: Nope, just got my mustache, though life without a mustache ain't worth living. :kills himself ---- :Marge: Where's Maggie!? :is shown in the past, with Bender :Maggie: passy :Bender: Well, little meatbag. Looks like it's just you and me, stuck in a terrible past, where I know the result of EVERY HORSE RACE EVER! TO THE TRACK! ---- :Marge: Can you please just get us out of this lousy future? :Farnsworth: Actually, of all probably futures, this is the worst. :Marge: It is, cuz my baby's not in it! :Farnsworth: Motherly love, why did we outlaw that? ---- :prays to his Atheist God :Farnsworth: Oh, nobody's father, who art nowhere, I know you can't hear me. Completely ignore this prayer. Nothing art thou and nothing will thou ever be. Jesus was just a man. :All: A man. ---- :Hedonismbot: Your lips, my lips. Apocalypse! ---- :Lisa: I can't believe you're all giving up without a fight! :Leela: Lisa, we're just a package delivery service. :Fry: And not a very good one! ---- :takes money out of Maggie's diaper, and hands her a sum of it :Bender: Here's your cut. :slips the money into her onesie :Maggie: passy ---- :pours beer down Bender's throat :Bender: Thanks, pal. Category:Quotes Category:Trivia